3 'Aamir Khan Moments' of my life

Last week Aamir Khan shared a rather personal conversation he had with his wife. The conversation reflected the fear, anxiety and in-security his family left after incidents like Dadri.

There will be no family in India, which has not experienced similar moments due to events that happen in our community, society and country.

Let me share 3 'Aamir Khan Moments' of my life

The first moment dates back to 1993. Till then the world had not even heard of a serial bomb blast. Bombay (yes it was called Bombay then) was the first city to experience terror at scale. The blasts targeted all key city transit routes at peak hour traffic. There is no way you could escape.

I was with my brother at a coaching class at Tardeo. Our teacher suspended the class mid way and asked us to reach home asap. We had no idea what had happened for there were no mobile phones back then. As we tried to reach home, we found that all public transport was suspended. There was chaos, blood and flesh on the streets.

After a 35 min walk from Tardeo to home, we were happy to see our mother. I had never seen her with so much anxiety and fear.  She was happy to see us.  Soon came the news that there was a blast at the Bombay Stock Exchange which was meters away from my Dad's office. As phone lines went dead , we had no way of contacting him. I loved my dad more than anything in the world and went numb. After a traumatic wait for an hour, I saw my Dad walking down a crowded chaotic street.

Most of the families in my locality had a similar experience, some unfortunately were not as lucky as us. As we sat for dinner, news came that a family belonging to a particular minority community had planned and executed the blast. Anger, anguish and betrayal are 3 feeling I remember.

The message we got as kids from parents was plain and simple - there have been many instances in our history where people have put their own shellfish interests before that of society and community. As a civilisation we have always found the strength to fight back even during and after a 1000 years of slavery ... so keep the faith. There was not a trace of anger against any community.

The second moment was in 2005. After many years, my wife, Aditi and I decided to return back to India. We decided to come to Bangalore. We had no family or even a friend in Bangalore.

In 2005, Bangalore was not an easy city to move in for a north Indian couple. The first thing you realise is that you are being profiled. From brokers to landlords, auto drivers to maids - one look at you and you are you identified as a north Indian and hence the perfect target to make money from.

Finding a place to rent was not easy, landlords would ask intrusive questions -

• How come you have no child after 6 years of marriage ? 
• Do you and your wife drink ?
• Do you plan to host parties ? If yes how often ?

Brokers would take advance money only to disappear. Auto drivers would extort, abuse and make rude comments.  A day would not go by where I did not have an issue with an auto driver.

Aditi and I would often discuss our frustrations... to settle down was difficult but at no time we would generalise or blame anyone. These were always small incidents that could happen to you in any part of India including your home state.  Our faith in the goodness of the people of Karnataka would soon be validated.

In 2010. My 3 year old daughter and Aditi met with an accident. As they lay bleeding on the road, many an elite and educated passed by, none came to help.  An auto driver, who was passing by helped Aditi and Musu to a local hospital. The auto drivers whom I hated the most came to rescue in the most vulnerable moment of my life. 

Later, when I thanked the auto driver and offered him some money, pat came the reply in Kannada-English  - ''Waat Sir, MY DUTY" . 

Coming to Bangalore is the best decision of my life , my daughter who is now 8 , introduces herself as a Bangalorean.

The last moment happened in 2014. There were frequent incidents of little girls being molested and raped on school premises. National media soon began to report on these incidents. Parents across Bangalore were paranoid. School management too went into a tizzy managing queries from parents.

Soon we started getting calls from relatives. The most frequently asked question was - "Is there a problem with schools in Bangalore ?". I often heard Aditi giving firm replies -" No local problem,  we are working with the school authorities to ensure safety for our children".

There is no Indian family that has not been impacted by incidents that happen around us. All of us have experienced this , we do not turn around to blame any community, school, society or state. 

We deal with incidents as we have faith ..

1) In our society - the goodness in our society will emerge when there is no 911 to call.

2) In our shared values and culture 

2) In our history. A civilisation that has survived and thrived under a 1000 years of slavery can meet and beat any challenge.

I hope Aamir and Kiran find peace soon, for in India ... ALL IZZ WELL !!